Life Lately March 2022
Happy Sunday, friends! I know I just published my February recap last week (hehe, whoops!), so in an attempt to be “on it” this month, I made time to write my March recap early to publish it on time.
Last month was emotionally draining for me. I had some uncomfortable feelings I needed to sit with, and I burnt myself out overthinking everything. But I’m on the mend and know what I need to do to move forward.
I’ve always been an overthinker, and I’m trying to break that cycle in my healing journey. It’s been a while since I spiraled from overthinking, and it felt weird to visit that dark place again. It was a humble reminder to the recovering perfectionist in me that healing is not linear. No matter how much progress I make, I will go backward sometimes, and that’s OK. What counts is that I recognize it and move forward.
I recently discovered the “In Your Feelings” podcast by Bianca Sparacino, and I sometimes listen to it when I drive. One of the first episodes I listened to talked about healing from a broken heart. Two quotes stood out to me. The first was, “Who you were is not who you will be. But who you will be is a strong and capable independent individual going off into the world being reminded that they have the capacity to feel and love and give that love and depth to everyone in their life.”
Wow, right? Over the years, I encountered people who were resistant to the improved me because they could not let go of who I was before I started my healing journey. I never expected anyone to praise me for working on myself, but I wish people would open their hearts to the idea that people can change.
“Who you were is not who you will be. But who you will be is a strong and capable independent individual going off into the world being reminded that they have the capacity to feel and love and give that love and depth to everyone in their life.”
The second quote was, “Closure truly is something you have the capacity to give yourself. Someone cannot heal your heart for you. You are responsible for that.”
When I first started my healing journey, I thought the point of embarking on this journey was to find closure from the people who wronged me. I wanted these people to go into depth about their motives and tell me they were sorry. One of the people I started with was my mom.
Out of respect for my mom, I won’t go into too much detail about our heart-to-heart conversation. But I will share that that conversation taught me the importance of humility and seeing people as human beings and not holding them to a certain standard.
If you’re wondering if I received the closure I needed from that heart-to-heart conversation, I did not. But my journey of radical self-love gave me the closure I needed to move forward. Today, we’re much better at communicating with each other, and it’s improved our relationship a lot.
“Closure truly is something you have the capacity to give yourself. Someone cannot heal your heart for you. You are responsible for that.”
On a less serious note, Angel and I made our way out to the beach at Aulani, A Disney Resort & Spa, to get some R&R last month. Instead we got terrible sunburns and tan lines, and I’m still recovering. I find it hilarious that we visit the beach only once or twice a year even though we live on an island. We’re not beach people at all.
Last but not least, I wanted to share a little revelation I had while I was in a meeting last month. I don’t share too much about my professional work here because I like to keep my personal and professional life separate (hashtag life-work balance).
During a creative brainstorming with my team, I realized that my career is so much more than I ever dreamed for myself, and I was overcome with gratitude. I’m a young, multiracial woman sitting at the proverbial table. While I might not be in a leadership role, I get to make recommendations to leaders in our organization and community based on my expertise. To say my inner child was freaking out is an understatement. I prayed for this moment and worked really damn hard to get here, and I’m so proud of myself and how far I have come.
WHAT I READ
I borrowed four books from my local public library last month, and I only ended up reading one — “Last Chance Books” by Kelsey Rodkey.
“Last Chance Books” is very “You Got Mail “-ish. It was the perfect book to read between my true crime-fraud shows (more on that below). If you love a good enemies-to-lovers romance novel, love the Avengers (Rodkey wrote in a lot of fun Avengers references that had me LOL-ing), and don’t mind the teen romance story, I think you’ll like this book.
I also started “Big Summer” by Jennifer Weiner, and it’s taking me forever to finish. The story follows two on-again-off-again friends and highlights the [normal] ups and downs of female friendships. There are a few sensitive topics I wish I’d known about prior to reading, like eating disorders, but other than that I think the book is OK.
WHAT I WATCHED
Last month, I watched a lot of True Crime Fraud shows. It started with “Tinder Swindler,” then “Inventing Anna.” (I also watched “Sinfluencer,” the “20/20” episode on Anna Delvey after I finished the dramatization.) I finished my February True Crime marathon with Fyre Festival and Impeachment.
I also finally finished watching “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” and immediately started rewatching it as soon as it was done. I also started “House of Cards” on Netflix because it was playing at my nail salon and now I need to know more. I’m grossly obsessed with it and want to stop, but I can’t?
And of course, how could I not talk about Disney and Pixar’s new movie “Turning Red?” I loved that movie so much and watched it about four or five times that first weekend it was released on Disney+. I even recreated Meilin Lee in my first Disney Bound reel on Instagram. I love her, and she’s such a vibe.
I hope you enjoyed this month’s recap, and I look forward to catching up with you next month. Take care!